“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” — Michel de Montaigne

On Saturday, after my church leadership meeting concluded, I had a few errands to run. By the time I finished, I decided I would treat myself to lunch and bring my computer along so I could get a little work done while I ate. I chose one of my favorite quaint little restaurants, one of those quiet places where you know you can sit peacefully without a lot of noise or interruption.

As I expected, it wasn’t crowded at that time of day. The waitress greeted me warmly and seated me at a table for two. Not far from me sat another woman enjoying lunch alone as well. After a few minutes, she glanced over and asked if I was dining alone. I smiled and said yes. It was a brief exchange—simple, respectful, and meaningful in its own way.

Neither of us suggested moving to the other’s table, and I believe that was intentional. Sometimes you can sense when another woman simply needs a moment of quiet—some space to breathe, think, and recharge. It felt like we both understood that without saying a word.

Over the years, I’ve noticed something quietly beautiful taking place. More and more women are learning to embrace their own company without apology or explanation. What once felt unusual now feels like a quiet expression of confidence and peace. They are dining out by themselves, going to movies, visiting museums, traveling, and enjoying many other experiences by themselves. Years ago, that might have been viewed differently. Society often suggested that a woman alone must be lonely, or somehow lacking if she was not married or in a relationship, but I have come to see something different. Often, a woman who enjoys her own company is not lonely at all—she is grounded.

In an article titled “Women Who Genuinely Enjoy Being Alone,” dated November 20, 2025, Lachlan Brown outlined twelve personality traits often found in women who are comfortable with solitude:

1. They are deeply self-aware. Women who enjoy being alone understand themselves. They know what brings them peace, what drains their energy, and what truly matters to them. Solitude gives them the space to reflect without distraction.
2. They are comfortable with their emotions. These women have developed the emotional strength to face themselves honestly rather than avoid difficult feelings.
3. They don’t rely on external validation. Their sense of worth comes from within. They do not need constant reassurance, attention, or approval from others to feel secure.
4. They have strong personal boundaries. Women who value their alone time often protect their energy carefully and set clear boundaries around their time and relationships.
5. They are naturally independent. Whether it’s dining out, traveling, taking long walks, or building a life on their own terms, they are not afraid to do things independently.
6. They are selective with relationships. Because they are comfortable alone, they do not feel pressured to fill their lives with superficial friendships or relationships that lack depth.
7. They have rich inner lives. Many spend time reading, journaling, creating, dreaming, reflecting, and thinking deeply about life and purpose.
8. They know how to slow down. They appreciate quiet mornings, peaceful evenings, and moments of stillness without feeling restless or incomplete.
9. They think deeply and reflect often. Solitude allows them to process life thoughtfully and consider the bigger picture.
10. They are self-sufficient. These women know how to care for themselves emotionally, mentally, and practically. They are capable of navigating life’s responsibilities with confidence.
11. They are more authentic. Because they spend less time absorbing other people’s opinions and expectations, they tend to live in alignment with who they truly are.
12. They know how to protect their peace. These women treat their inner peace as something sacred. They walk away from unnecessary drama, avoid toxic environments, and intentionally create lives that support their well-being.

As I reflect on my own journey, I realize that learning to enjoy your own company is not something that happens overnight. It is something you grow into. Earlier in my life, I often felt the need to always be around someone. Silence felt uncomfortable and being alone sometimes felt like something was missing, but over the years, I have discovered something important: learning to be comfortable with yourself is one of the healthiest foundations for any relationship.

When you know who you are, when you are at peace within yourself, you don’t enter relationships out of need—you enter them from a place of wholeness. Psalm 46:10 reminds us, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Sometimes that stillness happens in a quiet restaurant, at a table for two, with a laptop open and a warm meal in front of you. Sometimes it happens during a walk, a moment of reflection, or a peaceful afternoon alone. Either way, those moments are not empty. They are sacred spaces where we learn ourselves, hear God more clearly, and grow stronger from the inside out.