“An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one’s self-respect.” Mark Twain

Do you have trouble accepting compliments? Well, I do. When I walked into the gym a couple of weeks ago, one of the receptionists complimented me on how nice I looked. I immediately gave her an entire paragraph on how it was impossible that I could be looking good. When I got upstairs to my exercise class, I thought why I couldn’t just say thank you. Why did I have to try to convince the woman that she was not seeing correctly. After my class, I went back to the receptionist and apologized for not saying thank you when she gave the compliment. She responded that she totally understood because she had trouble accepting compliments also. I am amazed because I can give compliments all day every day, but why do I find it so difficult to accept one without deflecting.

Of course, I became curious—what causes this behavior? Jason Wilkinson, in an article titled, “Hard to Accept a Compliment? Here Are Some Reasons Why,“ provides the following reasons why it may be hard to accept a compliment:

• Anxiety. It can feel intimidating to stand out. An individual will often want to escape the feelings of anxiety by quickly wanting to move on from receiving a compliment at work, school, or amongst friends.

• It feels vulnerable. To accept a compliment can mean giving space for another’s words or thoughts to impact you leaving a person feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable.

• Negative thoughts about self. Self-esteem can be the reason why people find it difficult to accept compliments from others. Negative thoughts can lead to comparison. If a person feels they don’t measure up to others, it can sometimes be easier to deflect compliments such as, “This dress is so old; I like yours better.”

• Fear of looking prideful. Many individuals with a faith background don’t like to appear prideful; therefore, they may feel bad when reacting to a compliment.

I believe an individual who was criticized more than complimented in their childhood also finds it difficult to accept compliments. I have to do some soul searching to see where my issue derives from, but for now I just have to practice saying thank you.

Do you have a problem accepting compliments? I would love to hear from you.

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