“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV

As a young adult, I was so caught up in my role of being a wife and mother, I lost my identity. Unknowingly, I had been identifying myself with my roles in life and I absolutely had no idea who I was as an individual. It is crucial to differentiate your identity from your job or your roles in life; it could be devastating. Reason being, your roles may change; however, your identity should remain constant.

My role of a wife ended with divorce; my role as a mother shifted–one of my sons got married and the other is a young adult; therefore, not needing me as much; and my role of daughter and caregiver ended with my mother’s passing. I now proudly serve in the role as grandmother or “Mimi” to my two adorable grandchildren. I am now retired from my full-time job; therefore, I am no longer identified by my job title. In his book, “Know Your Why–Finding and Fulfilling Your Calling in Life,” Ken Costa states, “Our destinies are what He calls us to, but they are never a substitute for our identities–knowing who we are, knowing that we are uniquely and passionately loved by God. If we come to the end of a phase at work, then we are tempted to think of ourselves as having no further value. But if we are secure in our identities, we know that the end of an era is not the end of our destinies. There is always more to come.”

Forbes Contributor, Margie Warrell, offers the following questions in an article titled, Do You Know Your “Why?”–4 Questions to Find Your Purpose:

1. What makes you come alive? It’s about connecting with what you’re passionate about, knowing that when you focus your attention on endeavors that excite you and grow your impact and influence in ways like none other.
2. What are your innate strengths? What are the things you’ve been good at; oftentimes it is something others find hard.
3. Where do you add the greatest value? Knowing your strengths and where you can add the most value by applying your education, skills, knowledge and experience — can help you concentrate on the opportunities where you are most likely to flourish.
4. How will you measure your life? Making a stand for something and then living your life in alignment with it.

Christian comedian, Michael Jr. states, “The key is not to know “What,” but to know “Why,” because when you know your “Why,” you have options on what your “What” can be.” Several years ago, I found my “Why.” Because of my own adversities and difficulties in life, my mission became to empower individuals to attain balance, transformation, and achievement into all areas and aspects of their lives addressing the needs of the whole person (emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial). My “What” is my life coaching business, writing inspirational blog posts, and my financial services business.

What is your “Why?” It does not matter if you are a CEO, investment banker, a custodial worker, or fast food worker, you should have a clear and distinctive view of your true identity. Ken Costa states, “No matter what others say about you–whether you are unemployed or employed, whether you have a history of failures behind you or a catalogue of success–you are infinitely worthy, chosen, valued.”

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