“Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you free.” – Stormie Omartian

It’s hard to believe that over ten years have passed since I published my very first blog in April 2015. The message still feels just as relevant today, so I wanted to repost it.

In light of the tragic church shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, I felt compelled to write about forgiveness. I listened as each family member, through unimaginable grief, expressed forgiveness toward the young man who allegedly gunned down their innocent and unsuspecting loved ones—people who had welcomed him into their Bible study.

Rev. DePayne Middleton Doctor’s sister represented her family at the bail hearing. Through tears, she declared, “We are the family that love built. We have no room for hate. We have to forgive.” Anthony Thompson, the husband of Myra Thompson, echoed that same spirit, saying, “I forgive you; my family forgives you.”

On April 7, 2015, one of my dear friends faced every parent’s worst nightmare. Around 9:00 p.m., she received a call informing her that her 16-year-old son had been the victim of a hit-and-run accident. In the early hours of April 8, 2015, at 2:47 a.m., her precious child passed away from his injuries. The person responsible for his death remains unknown.

Recently, I asked my friend if she had forgiven the person who took her son’s life. She quietly replied, “I have to forgive so I can move forward, even though I don’t know who killed him. I have to continue to live, because if I didn’t forgive, it would eat me up inside. It’s not for me to judge them—God will judge them.”

Like the families of the Charleston victims, my friend embodies the true essence of Jesus Christ. Whether faced with tragedy, evil, or hate, they chose to respond with love. Their actions remind me of the scripture: “Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do’” (Luke 23:34 NKJV).

Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. It does not excuse their behavior—it releases you from the weight of bitterness, hatred, and resentment. As my friend shared, forgiveness allows you to move forward; without it, the pain consumes you. Forgiveness is a choice—one only you can make. The families of the South Carolina victims chose forgiveness over hate, showing us what true faith looks like in action.

Bishop T.D. Jakes wrote in his book Let It Go, “Those who free themselves from long-term emotional debilitation find themselves more blessed, more productive, and much more grounded than those who become blocked by incidents, tragedies, and injustices.”

Forgiveness does not erase the hurt—but it opens the door to healing, peace, and freedom.

Often times, we are betrayed by friends, spouses, co-workers, or family members.  I have chosen forgiveness several times throughout my life.  Most of the time, I never received an apology, but I became a better person because I didn’t continue to harbor ill feelings toward those who offended me.  Are you choosing forgiveness or are you harboring hate, bitterness and resentment?  Forgiveness is a process, let’s take the steps toward healing today.  I would like to hear your thoughts on this subject.  Looking forward to hearing from you.